</p>I have been thinking about my personality recently. most people have their "person", someone that they can talk to; but I never felt like I had that. Sure i have people I consider to be my #1, but nobody thinks of me as their #1. Analyzing my relationships just always leads to me realizing that im not actually liked for who I am, and I never fully developed relationships with my true self. Even my own mom said she wouldn't be my friend and only liked me bc she is my mom, which kinda hurts i guess. Plus my dad calls me a dick. IDK. People ask me to hang out when its convenient for them, but dont typically take time to talk to me. Usually im the one askign first or texting first. being lonely isnt all that bad tho, because I have time to think about stuff and do things like this, which is cool i guess, makes me feel like batman or spiderman lol;;; or like mark zuckerberg haha. one day maybe Ill be a billionaire startup founder. actually as i was writing this one of my, whom i thought to be best friends, responded "fuck no" if i asked if he wanted to hang out. </p>
</p> I want to ask this girl to hang out, but im kinda scared to because i know sh eprobably doesnt want a relationship. which sucks because it makes me realize even more people dont like my for my personality. just feel really ALONE right now. </p>